i decided to start over.


http://karyncraig.livejournal.com/

there is really only one person that i can trust these days. that's sad considering i haven't known her for a long time. but i know that nothing i say to her will ever come out of her mouth. unlike almost everyone else. if i say one thing to someone it somehow finds it way for other people to hear. i know i have had a hard time with keeping my mouth shut, but honestly, i can say i've worked on that a lot. i guess that's part of growing up. i see myself as a more trustworthy person now. which is a good quality to have, in my book.

i miss my friends.

i biked five or so miles with my mom this morning. i really enjoyed it. i have become content with the way my life is. i have realized that YOU are going to continue to let me down and i just have to be okay with that. i also realized that school is going to start right after i move out, but that doesn't really change my opinion of wanting to move out right now. it is going to be so much different than high school. so i really don't think i will mind. i'm so ready to meet new people and spend quality with my best friends. i was sort of nervous about living with the girls, but i think it is all going to work out perfectly. it will be nice having three of my closest friends living with me and being there whenever i need them. i told my manager that my last available day was going to be july 31st, but he wants me to stay longer. of course, i gave in and my last day will be august 8th. i might tell him that i really just need my last day to be july 31st when i go into work today.


i've been so strong lately. i can honestly say that i'm proud of myself.

i was only fooling myself. this is stupid.


oh yeah, & my life is a joke. in case you were wondering.

i really have to let you go. and i am. it's going to be a lot easier than i think. we always talk about being each others best friend and i think i can do that this time. you do know me better than anyone else, after all. i'm happy for you, really, i am.

i need something to take my mind off everything.



thirty one days.

i think i'm okay. i'm going to be at least. i've realized that i have some pretty wonderful friends and that's really all i should be worried about right now. i'm fine by myself. i shouldn't need someone else to make me happy.

i'v been working a lot lately. i get real tired of being there, but i like making money. although, money doesn't seem to mean much to me lately. it's nice to have. i like spending my money on other people though. it's a good feeling.

only thirty-three more days until i move out. it's going to be great!

"hope is a good thing to have."



thank you.
THANK YOU.


for real. i am the most pathetic person ever.

i think i know someone that could make me happy.

there's no way that you're happy. it's all just pretend.

i don't know what to do. this isn't easy for me. i'm trying so hard to be happy, but it's just not working for me. i feel like i've put so much into being with you, but everything was just a waste. i can honestly say that i've never felt this way for anyone before. i'm trying so so so hard to listen to what everyone has to say, but in the back of my head i want to just keep holding on. because i'm used to you coming back. and that's so sad. i don't deserve this. i deserve someone that cares about me as much as i care about them. and i deserve to not be walked all over and used. but at all same time i LOVE you. and it feels like it's impossible to let you go. i wish it was how it used to be. YOU crazy about ME, instead of the other way around. i wish we were crazy about EACH OTHER. that's the way love is supposed to be. maybe i'm just too ready to settle down. it's not my fault that you seem so perfect for me. i could see myself with you for the rest of my life. THIS LOVE IS REAL. i'm tired of feeling like this. i just want to be genuinely happy. with or without you. but preferably with you. i can honestly say that you will never ever ever ever ever ever find another girl that cares about you as much as i do. you tell me that you love everything about me. SO WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? that makes no sense to me. what more could you possibly want? i don't know what to do anymore.


i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to do.

my life has been a roller coaster lately. i'm ready to move out and get on with my life.

i'm graduating tomorrow. i've never been so excited!!

this weather is so perfect. i can't wait for summer!

i've become very happy with the way my life is currently. although, i quit my job & i am grounded until i get another one, everything is going to be okay. i have realized that i need alone time every once in awhile. hopefully it won't las too long though. i miss my friends. they are all so great & i couldn't be happier with them.

my life is changing soon & i couldn't be more excited about it. i can't wait to have freedom and make my own decisions. i know i'm a smart girl and i know how to stay out of trouble. i'm looking forward to being independent. my roommates are going to be the best.

i'm so glad that i have gotten over geoffrey. i realize now that they time i spent missing him was such a waste. i've become so strong & i can say that i am proud of myself. i deserve better, i know i do. i know that i am going to meet the right person for me soon enough. i'm not worried about it. i like just hanging out with friends and not having to worry about a boyfriend or anything like that. i'm very very content.



i can't wait for summer! it will be here so soon.

i'm trying to be the best person that i can be, but these are the times that seem the hardest. i don't know what to do anymore.

i care too much about people who don't care enough.

i just don't understand.

needless to say, you're the one that i need the most-
cause the only one i come undone for is you.

it's my birthday, but it doesn't even feel like it.

happy birthday to me!